Long sentence part 3

It was becoming obvious to me that creating records just for the sake of it was not a pleasant experince. But egged on by fellow forummers ( or muppets, as we liked to call ourselves), I gave it one more try, and in this third instalment of the as yet unfinished long sentence, the sentence goes on to become over 5000 words long. Phew !

Here is part 3 of this long sentence marathon:

part 3….

and one can trust Indian ingenuity to adopt and adapt alien concepts to Indian conditions by mangling them, and nothing exemplifies it better than the concept of democracy and elections that India got from the West, which is implemented in India in a different and almost indistinguishable manner from the original western form, and it makes for an interesting reading, and it has spawned many poll related industries in India, one of them is called vote banks, which means arranging to lend votes of a particular community to candidates, and then there are booth managers,who offer to manage the voting at booths,and these two industries do roaring business during any general elections, and these are the two biggest success stories of private sector entrepreneurship in India, so much so that every successful candidate in Indian elections owes his success almost entirely to the services of vote banks and booth managers, and it has revolutionised voting scenario , so much so that the western concept of retail voting ( where individuals queueue up outside a polling booth and vote individually) has been almost entirely replaced by the concept of wholesale voting where booth managers and vote bankers tie up with each other and leverage their core competancies to offer maximum advantage of economies of scale to their clients due to the seamless integration of vote bank and booth management, and the synergy of the two industries have offered such satisfaction to their clients that many clients now a day have stakes of their own in the two industries, and similarly,many of the operators who earlier offerered their services to the clients, have started to contest elections on their own making use of their own in house service providers , and as a result, we now have a large number of vote bankers and booth managers in the Parliament and state assemblies and their figures are only likely to increase in future- what with even the likes of Abu Salem coming home and deciding to contest elections and he is just one of the many skilled NRIs returning back to India lured by the growth prospects that India has to offer and it is just a matter of time before the services of Indian vote banks and booth managers will be marketed to other growing markets abroad, which is clearly good news for the sector with considerable potential for employment generation, and as happens with any industry, it has led to spin offs like kidnapping and ransom industry, arms manufacture and supply, supari etc which are evergreen sunrise industries ( unlike elections which are seasonal though they are thankfully becoming more frequent now a days)and there is constant supply of manpower in all sectors in India as one new sucker is getting born every second ( which is a 50 % growth rate over the past when one sucker was getting born every two seconds) and this is obviously good news for all organisations including BCCI and the BCCI have assessed that they will be able to fool 9% more people this year than they fooled last year thanks to their new measures such as “sending a strong message” ( which means dropping a non performer for two matches and then taking him back), “linking pay to performance” ( which means bigger the non performance bigger the pay, and juniors threatening to perform the best getting dropped), “bringing more transparacy in the board working” ( which means making their presentation using transparacies instead of power point presentations) and the Board is working on other methods of increasing their revenues and the Board officials believe that just like it is possible to remain in the team irrespective of performance, it is possible to get sponsorship irrespective of performance too, though some additional safeguards will be needed, and the Board has advised all non performers in its team to use cars with tinted glass and the board is also thinking of issuing custom built tinted glass spacesuits as cricket gears in which the Indian players will enter the cricket field and on being questioned by the umpire, the players will inform the umpire that they have been authorised by BCCI to wear the spacesuit, and the BCCI president will read out a statement in support of the Indian players before he finds himself pushed out of the range of the microphones by the Australian players and the attention of the Indian media and Indian public will thus be diverted towards the behaviour of the Australians than on the non performance of the Indian players and by the time the Indian suckers would come to their senses, the Indian players would have gone into hiding from which they would emerge only after the coast would be clear and the suckers would have forgotten about the previous tournament or series which will come as no surprise to anyone including the suckers, many of whom have been making a vow to give up on Indian cricket for the last 35 years as their new years resolution, and as new years resolutions go, these suckers forget about their vows after a few days and continue to churn threads upon threads analysing the reasons for the incompetence of the Indian cricketers, some of the bigger suckers in the meanwhile also manage to compile sentences hundreds and thousands of words long on just about any topics of their choice which few can have the patience to read and the authors of the long sentences also realise after some time that writing such long sentences is a sure shot recipe of driving people crazy and make them keep away from the thread if one wants to retain any sanity, because one’s eyesight, patience, will etc get severely tested while going through these sentences, however informative and entertaining facts may be contained in the long sentence and the fact that there were some authors who wrote long sentences and got into Guiness book of records does not mean that everyone should try and emulate them, because it is unlikely that these authors got any critical acclaim for writing such long sentences and had they written the same sentence in a more presentable form, dividing it shorter sentences, paragraphs and chapters, there would have been many more readers for their writing, and chasing the silly record is not worth it, and though I have overtaken the record of Some William Faulkner and some Molly Bloom, in is an exercise in futility to go for the record of some Jonathan Coe who one wrote a 13955 words sentence which I am sure no one would have read in its entirety, so I will put a stop to this madness after this installment, and to prove that my ramblings will have many more takers if I presented them in small and readable parts, I intend to do just that after some time and in the meanwhile I will take a break from this wordathon that has made me type a sentence than ran into over 5000 words and has taken considerable time that I could have utilised in some more fruitful pursuits like watching the paint dry or watching the grass grow or even watching the BCCI aministrators “send a strong message”, and the last option certainly would have brought more entertainment and amusement and so here I am back to the pit stop yet again at 5240 words overall, hopefully for the last time, phew …

5240 words in all

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About Atul

Making small talk is not for me, and so I like to make bigger talk. And that is why I have decided to blog.
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