Long sentence part 2 ( continuation of part 1)

My long sentence in part 1 was 2067 words long and was incomplete. I continued from where I had left off, and the long sentence became 4041 words long at the end, with one more part yet to come. I tell you, it is a torture to the writer as well as it is to the readers, but records are records, and must be created, I suppose.

Here is part 2 of the long sentence:

continued from part 1…..

and their righteous indignation on being regarded as anything other than geniuses, but then the old fashioned definition of a genius has gone a transformation in their minds and now a days,the ability to play to the galleries and bullshit one’s way in front of media persons is often mistaken as the mark of a genius and even people with an IQ of 20 viz Mike Tyson and Salman Khan are considered as geniuses by their adoring fans, who mistakenly believe that by biting the ear of an opponent, Mike Tyson was helping his opponent in getting younger as one (y)ear was being taken off the opponent,and the supporters of Salman Khan are firm in their belief that it is Salman Khan who should be regarded as an endangered species rather than the pavement dwellers or the Chinkaras who had no business endangering the safety of Salman Khan by conspiring to sleep in front of his car or conspiring to jump in front of his gun,and one should not forget the fact that Salman Khan is the true follower of Mahatma Gandhi, he being the only one after Mahatma Gandhi who does not wear a shirt and goes bare chested which is something no other Gandhian is known to have done,including the neo Gandhians who claim to be practicising Gandhigiri, which is all a sham because none of these Gandhigiri practicing people ever take their shirts off in public and it is such a shame that people should follow these frauds and ignore the real Gandhian that Salman Khan is, and it is the need of the hour that not only the men, but also the women should follow the example of Salman Khan, and there is one school of thought which believes that women can be much more effective in spreading the Gandhian message of Salman Khan than men by shedding their T- shirts, and this opinion has the firm backing of Beburg also known as Scud and other fellow perverts, who, when they are not discussing cricket, are busy admiring the handiworks of Bollywood villains such as Ranjeet,Prem Chopra,Gulshan Grover etc whose primary activity was trying to rape leading Bollywood ladies such as Anita Raj on screen and their secondary activity was eying the property of the village Zamindar, though it must be conceded that Beburg and others are not partial only to such low class villains, and they equally admire such classy villains as Ajit, Amrish Puri, Pran etc who do not indulge in petty crimes like this and who operate on a larger scale,and one of them viz Ajit pays the Britishers back in their own coin by mutilating English words as in pronouncing lion as loin, Border as Baarder and Helicopter as haillycaapter, and the globetrotting nature of Ajit’s villainy is typified by the fact that Ajit always talks of crossing the Border (Baarder)from his Versova beach hideout in his helicopter(hailycaapter) and reaching Birmingham a little while later,and it is such an anticlimax when the Hero upsets the grand plans of Ajit in the last reel and finally the villain and his henchmen are handed over to the Police who arrive late on the scene like an Indian Railways train running in Eastern parts of India and appeal to the hero not to take law into his own hands and let the law take its own course,and letting law take its own course means a judge pronouncing the sentence ( which is as long as the sentence you are reading now if the defendent is innocent and vice versa if the defendent is actually a criminal) in a court room and he being interrupted by a long lost character artist who barges into the court and delivers a sentimental banality which so moves the judge that he pronounces a verdict which is diametrically opposite to what he originally had in mind, and with that the movie reaches its end,the audience vacate their seats and troop out of the cinema hall,go to the nearest railway station and push their way in the crowded local trains, where people are packed tighter than sardines in cans and these people, instead of feeling frustrated with their fate of having to undergo such torture daily,actually enjoy it and think that this experience of travelling jampacked in local trains constituted the Nirvaan ( Nirvaana to the tongue challenged) that the ancient scriptures always talked of,and this naive belief is as difficult to digest as the assertion that Ganga ( Ganges to the tongue challenged) is a pure river, which is so very difficult to believe however much we try to convince ourselves, because the process of purifying ones’ sins in a river cannot be performed without leaving that impurity into the river, and this principle of conservation of matter runs contrary to the axiom of purity of the river,and rationalists rightly point out that there are much purer rivers in India than Ganga, and the reason why these other rivers retain much of their purity is mainly because people do not try to purify themslves in these rivers, and the purest of such rivers has got to be the River Narmada, and it is so amusing, not to say, shocking, to note that the Britishers called this river by the name Nerbudda, which is infinitely more difficult to pronounce than the word Narmada, and this river, though not used by people to wash their sins has been used indiscriminately for irrigation, electricity generation and other purposes, and it is mind boggling to note that nearly 60 dams have been constructed on this one river alone, and the most controversial of these dams has got to be the Sardar Sarovar dam,whose real beneficiaries have been contractors, politicians and activists, and the most well known of these activists is none other than Medha Patkar who periodically gets herself media coverage by protesting against this project, and what is not known to most couch potatoes is that Medha Patkar does not protest at the site of the dam,rather her protests are staged invariably at New Delhi where all types of mediamen are readily available in full strength to cover her,and recently she protested against Singur land being given to Tatas, and her protests were, you guessed it, not at Singur, a remote village in Bengal, but at New Delhi, the capital of India, and thus she proved her credentials as the champion of the underpriviledged and the exploited- in front of privileged and exploiters- in the national capital, though to be frank, she is not the only such person, rather she is in the august company of hypocrites like Arundhati Roy and M.F.Hussain,who are blindly supported by misguided leftists who regard themselves as intellectuals just because they are familiar with the names of some Marxist authors and foreign revolutionaries,and they never tire of dropping these names at the drop of a hat, to prove their depth of knowledge of leftism, using high sounding worlds like proletariat, bourgeois,reactionary,comrade etc in every sentence that they utter, and regard themselves as true leftists even though leftism is dead in the place of its origin, and considering that leftism in India is synonymous with shirking work and staging strikes, their belief that leftism has come to stay in India has merit, as it has indeed found its true home in India in general and in Bengal and Kerala in particular, which is one reason why all strike calls given by any Tom, Dick and Hari anywhere in the country is successful in Bengal and Kerala, even if the strike call evokes little response elsewhere,and therein hangs the tale of a nation with lopsided development thanks to the ideologies that different people in different parts of the country believe in and practice, in that Gujarat and Maharashtra people are at the forefront of industrial development whereas many other states which are ruled by either communists, or casteists or communalists or separatists( take your pick from the various types of evils)have no industry to speak of and as a result no employment opportunity to offer to their people, who then migrate en masse towards greener pastures( which can only mean towards the states which have encouraged industrialisation), and this brings us face to face with another kind of hypocrisy where some states do not encourage industry and then accuse other states( encouraging industry) that the migrant workers from the former states were being harassed in the later states,thus passing the buck totally on the other states instead of doing introspection and encouraging industrialisation in their own states to avoid the mass migration to other states,and this is a problem which rears its ugly head periodically in various parts of the country like Assam, Maharashtra etc, and the sufferers are invariably Bihari migrants,and this problem can be addressed not by the present day method of sending Bihari politicians to the concerned state on state expense, but by creating job opportunities for these workers within the state itself,which no politician is prepared to do,and instead of addressing the root cause of problems, everyone is happy with quick fix solutions in every field, including the sports field, which in India mostly means the cricket field, and it is amusing to see that everyone who watches cricket on TV has an opinion about the Indian cricket team, and his opinion is often based on non cricketing considerations, and in the past, when there was no TV, the fans at that time also had an opinion on Indian cricketers based totally on what they heard in Radio commentary of Ravi Chaturvedi and Sushil Doshi,and it was only much later that the fans realised that the cricket commentators were more clueless than many cricket followers themselves, in the sense that the fans at least had some idea of cricket, but the commentators, especially the Hindi commentators were Hindi teachers and like Ajit,the Bollywood villain mentioned earlier, they were on a mission to mutilate cricketing terms to suit their own convenience, and thus we came face to face with terms like “pagbadha” for LBW,”chowka” for “four”, “chakka” for “six”,”saajhedari or Bhagedari” for “partnership” etc,but one must admire the Hindi commentators who at least coined easy to understand and easy to pronounce Hindi cricketing terms,there were government departments which introduced such complicated Hindi terms that the Indian secret service did not need to encrypt their top secret messages,and all they had to do was to use the Aakashwani grade Hindi to send their message across without the fear of the eavesdroppers being able to make any head or tails of the secret message,and come to think of it, not just the enemy,even the recipient of the message were all at sea to decode the message,and this fact was used very creatively by imaginative government beauraucrats, who, on receiving any audit objections to their objectionable ways, would send their reply in Hindi, and the audit department,unable to make sense of the reply, would drop the proceedings, and thus the concerned beauraucrats would be allowed to go scot free, who would celebrate his reprive by going to a scenic locale travelling by pratham shreni yaan ( first class coach) in loh path gamini ( Railway Train) sapariwaar ( viz along with his family)on public expense,and having thus recharged his batteries, the beauraucrat would be ready to face some more audit objections in his patented way that incidentally happens to be just one of the ways, and there were many ways of wriggling out from tricky situations because the rules were so framed that they invariably allowed some loop holes that could be made use of, when required

4041 words in total, to be continued…

Advertisements

About Atul

Making small talk is not for me, and so I like to make bigger talk. And that is why I have decided to blog.
This entry was posted in English language, Humour. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s